Riverdale Chapter Thirteen: The Sweet Hereafter

-It happened guys. It actually happened. After a season of build-up and waiting, Jughead Jones finally ate a burger visibly on camera! Finally this feels like an Archie show! Talk about fan service! I'm surprised they didn't try to milk that moment for all it's worth but putting it in slo-mo while Reunited played or something like that. Anyways that was probably the most important thing that happened in the episode so we can probably wrap up this review now. Great season everyone! Just kidding. We're gonna talk about the rest of the episode too.

-Partway through The Sweet Hereafter, I had a revelation about this first season of Riverdale: this has all been a prologue for the real story they've been wanting to tell. This first season has been about a small, picture-perfect town with dark secrets behind it that a murder threatens to bring to the surface. While a group of teens try to get to the truth, no matter the cost, the rest of the town has essentially tried to ignore the murder and move past it, hoping that the whole thing would just go away. But the whole thing didn't go away and solving the death of Jason Blossom has only revealed just how dark, corrupt, and dangerous Riverdale is, no matter how much the mayor and her ilk try to ignore it or blame it on scapegoats. With our heroes established, their relationships in interesting places, and the stakes finally clear, the stage is now set for an explosive second season about the town trying to salvage it's soul at all costs. It's a risky move doing a whole season of TV that's basically set-up for the next season and few are able to pull it off, but Riverdale, with it's bold reimagining of comic book icons, anchored with strong performances, sharp wit, and a healthy dose of weirdness accomplishes it, making for a strong season that (mostly) never felt like we were waiting for the good stuff.

-I was a bit underwhelmed by the obvious reveal of Cliff Blossom as the killer last week but as the consequences of that reveal and the newly exposed drug syrup empire seep out this week, it becomes clear that this was 100% the best decision for the purposes of the story, which makes me like the reveal more and more. On an micro, episode-by-episode level Riverdale could be a bit of a mess, but I have a feel that the big picture, seasonal arc stuff is going to hold up well on a rewatch because of how structurally sound it all is.

-Another thing I realized during The Sweet Hereafter is that Archie's uselessness and disconnectedness from the murder mystery all season long has essentially been his arc for the season (Well, his arc for the season that wasn't about his music). Apart from his love of music, Archie's defining character trait is his love for his friends and family. All season long Archie has had to watch them suffer and deal with all this stuff and feel helpless about the whole thing. In The Sweet Hereafter, he decides to try and take action, first by the sweet, yet completely useless gesture of writing a song for his friends, and then by the actually impressive move of punching through a frozen pond to save Cheryl's life (Hey, buff Archie wound up having a story purpose!). It's a nice culmination for the character's journey this season and between this and the ending (more on that part in a bit), I'm actually interested to find out what's going to happen to Archie next season, which is more than I could say an episode ago.

-Alright, so I'm not trying to diminish from Archie heroically saving Cheryl's life, which was easily the strongest moment the character has had all season. That being said, why did he not alternate hands once the one he was using started heavily bleeding?! I get doing this single-handedly is more dramatic and probably more interesting on a visual level, but it feels like Archie breaking his hand (Which KJ Apa actually did while shooting that scene.) could have been easily avoided. Again, not taking away from what he did but I did find myself shouting "Alternate hands, you goon!" at my TV during that scene.

-Of all the characters on Riverdale, the one who has changed the most over the course of the season is Betty, going from a frustrated, reserved girl under the thumb of her mother to the confident, fierce young woman we saw tonight, willing to do whatever it took to make sure the truth about what happened wasn't ignored, even if it meant retaliation (Also, the pigs blood message and hanging voodoo doll seemed really hardcore for high school cruelty). I've been singing Lili Reinhart's praises all season long for how well she captures the core of Betty and she capped off a season of great performances in fine form tonight.

-Another thing I was impressed with in this episode of Riverdale: how well they pulled off the cliche "Hero gives big speech forcing everyone to confront unpleasant truths that the speech was supposed to help them avoid" scene. Every beat of it was predictable, down to the spontaneous standing ovation from everyone except the mayor yet it worked like gangbusters as the natural culmination to Betty's arc for the season. Again, I credit Reinhart who poured a lot of passion into every word of that speech, elevating what could've been a half-hearted summation of the season's themes into something special.

-So apparently the reason Riverdale was dancing around the word abortion a few weeks ago in reference to something Hal did to Alice was because they were actually talking about an adoption. Turns out Betty has a secret older brother out in the world somewhere. It's a surprising twist rooted in Archie history (Betty has two seldom-seen siblings in the comics) and it'll be interesting to see how they deal with this information going before. After all, if you introduce the idea of a secret brother, the laws of storytelling demand that you pay that off at some point.

-The most ridiculous sequence in the episode has to be the parts set at Southside High, where a newly transferred Jughead finds himself surrounded by a bunch of neighborhood toughs who look like rejected extras from Grease. There's a misdirect where it looks like the kids are going to beat him up or something but then he wins them over off-camera, probably by flashing the irresistible Cole Sprouse smolder.

-If you had asked me around the midpoint of the season how I expected Jughead's story to resolve, I would not have guessed him joining up with the Serpents, but the finale does a really good job showing how this is the natural conclusion to his arc for this year. Jughead's biggest desire all season was to have a proper home and a family to belong to. That's why he had gotten so hopeful about F.P. turning his life around, even though the chances of F.P. becoming a proper caretaker were slim. Now he's about to lose his father for a long time and has found himself being essentially ostracized and banished by the town he's stuck in. Yes he still has Betty and his friends, and the scene of him and Betty exchanging "I Love Yous" is incredibly sweet (I'm officially onboard with Bughead as a pairing now). Still, when the Serpents show up offering him family and a place to belong, it makes total sense that he'd put on that jacket. Jughead has found a way to feel closer to his father, but with Betty's fears of a distance growing between them and judging on that look she has as he puts on the jacket, season 2 could be putting Jughead at risk of losing the family he really needs. It's a compelling story for the character and I'm excited to see how it unfolds.

-I hope this isn't the last we see of Skeet Ulrich. He's added a lot of depth to what could've been a one-note character and he elevates the work of everyone around him with his performance.

-So... Cheryl is taking this whole thing pretty well. All season long Madelaine Petsch has played Cheryl as someone who's barely stable, just one push away from being sent completely over the edge. So it makes sense that finding out her father had killed her brother and learning that essentially everything she knew about her family was a lie would lead her to attempt to kill herself, especially with her mother basically saying that's what they should do. Madelaine Petsch is terrific playing this broken, desolate version of Cheryl and there's genuine tension in her scenes leading up to the moment where she falls through the ice. Of course a vision of zombified Jason seems to confirm to her that no, she doesn't want to die like this and by the end of the episode she's ready to embark on a new path, by burning down Thornhill. It's a stunning sequence that sets up a promising new status quo for Cheryl and Penelope as they find themselves needing to redefine who they are.

-So Hermione has just gotten more and more shady this season as she's fallen back under Hiram's sway. Her zero sympathy when she walks in on a clearly distraught Cheryl and the lengths she goes to to try and get Fred to sell his part of the drive-in land continue this pattern but I'm going to give her the benefit of the doubt that she's trying to get Fred to sell for his protection because she still cares about him. I guess it'll all come down to her reaction about him being shot next season. Meanwhile Veronica has fully turned against both of her parents, setting the stage for an interesting power-struggle going into season 2.

-The most impressive thing about the first season of Riverdale might be how the most famous love triangle of all time never materializes after those first couple episodes. Betty and Jughead get involved while Archie is romancing Val and then Archie just moves onto Veronica. They feint towards Archie being jealous of Jughead and Betty or Betty not being OK with Archie and Veronica but everyone seems pretty content with how things have ended up by episode's end.

-OK, that ending. Last episode I talked at length about Archie's disconnect from the central mystery of the season and expressed a desire that he be more connected in season 2. Well, looks like I'm getting what I wished for. Fred getting shot in what Jughead assures us was a "not random act of violence" is a great way to set up a second season that should be considerably more personal to our hero whether or not Fred dies (I'm assuming he'll live but exit interviews from showrunner Roberto Aguirre-Sacasa have compared this moment to both Batman and Spider-Man's origins so they could easily kill Fred). Again, one of Archie's only character traits is his love for his family and now his worst nightmare has happened right in front of him It's a moment that comes by surprise (Though Fred's talk about not knowing or feeling safe in this town anymore and his refusal to sell his part of the drive-in land does alert us that something will probably happen to him) and is effectively harrowing. Where the disappearance and murder of Jason Blossom felt stylized and surreal, this feels very grounded. It's easy to see how this could potentially tear the town apart, as Jughead promises in his closing narration.

-A lesser show would've made us wait all summer to find out who had been shot, but Riverdale is smart enough to know it's more emotionally effective to know it was Fred (Like anyone would believe that Archie had been shot anyways) and that final shot of Archie holding his gravely injured father is an effectively devastating note to end the season on.

-This Week in Hot Archie: Archie and Veronica had a network-friendly sex scene y'all! There's something you wouldn't see in an Archie comic.

-Archie's music is still bland and forgettable, in case you were curious on if I've come around on it yet.

-So Clifford was using his Maple Syrup empire as a front to smuggle in Heroin from Montreal. Hiram tried to sabotage Fred's construction site with friends from Montreal several episodes back. That tells me two things: 1. Montreal is apparently the epicenter of crime in the Riverdale universe. 2. There's a strong chance that the Hiram is connected to Clifford's drug business. After all, we never found out why the Blossoms were paying money to the Lodges.

-F.P. Jones is definitely reading a Sabrina The Teenage Witch comic in prison. Foreshadowing perhaps or just a fun Easter egg? Guess we'll find out in season 2.

-The whole "Northside vs Southside" thing is very reminiscent of the class war in Veronica Mars, which is not a bad thing. If you're gonna get inspiration from somewhere, Veronica Mars is a great place to start.

-If there's a benefit to Jughead joining up with the Southside Serpents, it's that we finally get the introduction of Hot Dog, Jughead's beloved dog from the comics. He seems to be the gang's pet, but I'm hoping this will lead to an origin story about how Jughead becomes Hot Dog's owner.

-I'm going to have to doublecheck this but that last shot of Archie holding Fred's body feels like an homage to Archie's death in Life With Archie 36.

-While she was off having zero screentime despite having series regular status, Josie dyed much of her hair blue. I'm sure there's a story behind that involving her awful father or something. Let's hope for more screen time and meaningful stories for Josie and the Pussycats next year!

-Murder Not Random Act of Violence Theory Corner: Alright, we officially got a new mystery to try and solve: Who was behind the shooting of Fred Andrews? The easy money is on Hiram being behind shooting Fred and the fact that they went with a pretty straightforward mystery this first year backs this up. On the other hand, maybe season 2 is when they go with a left-field solution for the mystery and I'm still convinced that Mayor McCoy is up to something (Look how pissed off she is after Betty's speech), and although Jughead's ominous narration doesn't always pay off (Remember when losing half the football team was supposed to have consequences and the only thing that ever came from that was Chuck crashing a party and being a creep?), the promise of the darkness winning in Riverdale implies a deeper level of conspiracy to the event than one shady businessman.

-And that's it for season 1 of Riverdale. I was deeply skeptical about this show before it initially aired but was won over almost immediately by it's self-aware charm, fun twists on the Archie mythos, and strong character work, particularly with the female characters. I'm not sure that I would describe Riverdale as a "good" show in terms of quality, but in terms of pure enjoyment, it's a fantastic show and that's what really matters here. Anyways thanks for reading my recaps, whether you did it every week or just for one or two. Hope to see you back in this space next season!

Riverdale: Chapter Twelve: Anatomy of a Murder

-Wow. I'm not sure where to start. Spoiler warning I guess if you're one of those people who read reviews before watching the episode because some major stuff goes down that you'll want to see with your own eyes before you read about it.

-OK, let's get to the big, shocking reveal of the episode. The one that had me shouting at my television. You know what I'm talking about. The reveal that Grandfather Blossom and Great-Grandfather Cooper weren't just business partners, they were brothers, making Jason and Polly related, making the baby (or babies) that Polly is having a product of incest ("Pure Blossom" as Penelope puts it). Yes, turns out there was actually a good reason for Jason and Polly's romance to be forbidden and for Hal to be so vehemently opposed to the whole thing. It's the best kind of twist, one that seems to come completely out of nowhere but makes total sense in retrospect, providing new context to certain key moments throughout the season. It's also one hell of a crazy reveal and I'm impressed with the Riverdale creative team for being willing actually have their characters commit that societal taboo. Yes, neither party knew they were committing incest, and yes people on TV (mainly sitcoms) have accidentally dated their cousins before but those stories don't typically end in a pregnancy. It'll be interesting to see how the show deals with this storyline going forward into the second season as a baby/babies will make this plot point impossible to sweep under the rug Ms. Grundy-style.

-OK, I've gotten the incest talk out of my system. For now. Let's get to what everyone else wants to talk about: what the Andrews family was up to in this episode. OK, no one wants to talk about this but we're doing it anyways. Some of it will tie into the Killer reveal eventually, I swear. It's been a running joke all season how Archie never has anything to do with solving the murder mystery but with Anatomy of a Murder focused squarely on answering the question of who killed Jason Blossom, it really shines a spotlight on just how disconnected Archie and his family are from the mystery. Jughead, Betty, Veronica, and Cheryl are all tied up in the mystery with the fates of their families on the line and everything they do is clearly motivated and understandable. Archie is just along for the ride really, wanting to help out his friends like he's been trying all season. And I'll give him this, Archie is at his best when he's allowed to be part of the ensemble and he had a couple smart moments last night, but it's telling that if you remove the top-billed main character from the action entirely last night, nothing about the plot changes. Archie's not a bad character, he just doesn't have any stakes in the action beyond his good Samaritan nature. I would like to see this change in season 2, as long as music and football are barely involved in whatever the big genre plot is.

-Even if there was no plot value to anything Archie did last night and Molly Ringwald was only there to say lawyer things and wrap up the "Will Archie move to Chicago" question (He won't.), there was thematic value to Fred and Archie this episode as Fred grows increasingly frustrated with Archie looking into the murder. Fred loves his son and wants to protect him. That's his priority, just like protecting Jughead is F.P.'s priority, protecting Veronica is Hermione's priority, and protecting Betty and Polly is Alice and Hal's priority (To an extent in the case of Hal). A major theme of Riverdale is how the kids relate to their parents and how for all their flaws and poor parenting decisions, those parents will always look out for their kids. It was true in the comics and it's still true here. We can see these protective instincts on display all over Anatomy of a Murder and it makes it all the more powerful when that notion of parents protecting their children is shattered by the bullet Cliff Blossom puts in the head of his son, the ultimate subversion of the Archie mythos.

-OK, we can talk about the killer now. So when it came to setting up the murder mystery, Riverdale had two choices: 1. Do an overly convoluted mystery with all kinds of crazy twists and turns and red herrings until we got to a conclusion that came out of left field and probably doesn't hold up under scrutiny but would fit with the generally campy tone of the show. 2. Do a more straight-forward murder mystery with a smaller suspect pool that is pretty easy to piece together and has less chances for cheap thrills (Give or take an incest reveal), but allows for more introspection and character moments. To Riverdale's credit, they picked the second choice, which led to a mystery that wasn't as thrilling or wild as it initially seemed it could be but will probably make for a more satisfying viewing experience when seen as a whole (Unless the "Why?" of it all totally falls apart). Is it disappointing when obvious villain Clifford Blossom turns out to be the killer instead of someone totally unexpected like Mayor McCoy, Principal Weatherbee or Dilton Doiley? Yes, but it's also more compelling to have a father kill his son in cold blood because of how personal that is. The emotional impact more than overshadows the lack of surprise in the solution.

-So the misdirect with showing us the reactions to the murder video before letting us watch the video is a cheap move designed to stretch things out to their breaking point and make us think the killer is someone the characters are attached to. But the reactions themselves still make sense when you know who the killer is because tears and looks of horror are exactly the appropriate reaction to watching a video of someone being murdered, especially when you know both the victim and the killer (I assume Veronica who never met Jason was also crying tears of relief about her father not being involved). Strong acting all around from everyone "watching" that tape.

-Credit where credits due. The Riverdale creative team could've easily made random thug Mustang the actual killer of Jason, acting on Clifford's orders but they chose to have Clifford pull the trigger himself which is a much more powerful creative choice.

-I was also satisfied by the way all the pieces of the mystery, from Hal stealing the sheriff's files to F.P. keeping the jacket around as "insurance" to why the body was frozen at all paid off in ways that made sense and enriched the story (Like how we can figure out that F.P. didn't kill Jason beyond the planted gun because we know he didn't steal the murder board from Sheriff Keller's house). That's good storytelling.

-Anatomy of a Murder devotes pretty much all of it's run-time to solving the mystery that's been taking up so much of the season but it also finds time to pay off some character storylines that have been building throughout the season. Most satisfying is watching Betty finally complete her transformation from the repressed and barely holding it together girl that we met at the start of the series to the crime-solving badass she officially became tonight. From not backing down when Penelope threatens her to figuring out where to find the flash drive that has the footage of Jason's murder, Lili Reinhart plays Betty with more confidence and power then she's had all season and it's a great look on her. I'm excited to see where the character goes from here.

-Veronica's growing distrust of her father has been fascinating to watch play out over the past few episodes and it comes to a head here as she becomes convinced that he's responsible for Jason's murder and becomes obsessed with trying to prove it. Veronica is basically a force of nature this episode and the moment when she learns that her father was not responsible for Jason's death is incredibly powerful. Veronica had built her father up as a monster when he wasn't one and now she has to figure out how to process this going forward, especially because Hiram is coming home. Man, I'm excited to finally have Hiram Lodge on this show.

-Kevin's usually pretty savvy about things but his romance with Joaquin has turned him into Archie apparently because he spends this week shocked to discover that his gang member boyfriend has been involved in illegal activity. He doesn't even find out that Joaquin was dating him to keep tabs on the investigation. Kevin, I love you but clueless is not a good look on you. Here's hoping that with Joaquin put on a bus, you'll get more compelling material next season.

-The stuff with F.P and Jughead is also excellent, as it typically is. Skeet Ulrich has done a terrific job with F.P., taking what could've been a one-note thug and imbuing him with a genuine love for his son and desire to be a better person that makes you understand why Jughead refuses to give up on his dad, even after all the ways F.P. has let him down.

-Acting highlights this week include Cole Sprouse's defeated reaction after his mother rejects his plans to go to Toledo, his even more defeated reaction after his dad pushes him away at the police station, Lili Reinhart's WTF face when Archie suggests bringing in the parents, Madchen Amick's take-down of the Blossoms, Madelaine Petsch's dead inside near-catatonic state after she learns what her father has done and Camila Mendes conflicted reaction to learning her father is coming home, even though she knows he didn't have Jason killed.

-I'll tell you, that ending with the police discovering Cliff dead of an apparent suicide was a real "Cliff hanger".

-Based on the contents of those Maple Syrup barrels at Cliff's feet and the fact that it's yet to be explained how Cliff is connected to the Serpents, it looks like Jason's murder may have been due to drugs after all. I guess we'll find out next week but I had predicted this weeks ago so I'm calling this a win (Though to be honest the prediction was fairly vague.).

-So I get why Jughead is yelling at Sheriff Keller at the end for not letting his father go on an emotional level, but it still seems weird that Jughead doesn't understand why his father who helped cover up a murder and did a lot of illegal things in the process has to stay in jail. Did Jughead honestly not see that coming?

-With all that happened this episode, all that tension from the gang breaking Jughead's trust last episode gets pretty speedily resolved. Which is fine, but if you're going to end an episode with the characters at odds only to smooth it all over within the first ten minutes of the next episode, did you really need to end the episode with everyone at odds in the first place? Probably not.

-Joaquin gets on a bus heading to San Junipero in a really cool Easter egg for fans of Black Mirror. If you've never seen Black Mirror, I recommend hopping on Netflix and watching San Junipero (You'll find it in Season 3) immediately because it's an amazing episode of Television. Also Black Mirror is an Episodic Anthology show so you don't have to watch any other episode of the show to get what's going on.

-Murder Theory Corner: Call me crazy, but I'm starting to think that Cliff Blossom might have something to do with this. On a real note, what are the odds that Cheryl (with an assist from Penelope) killed Cliff out of revenge for what he did to Jason?

Riverdale: Chapter 11: To Riverdale And Back Again

-I finally get the purpose of having Jughead's narration be a novel that he's writing in-show about the events of the show. It's so they can do meta scenes like the one tonight where they talk about the novel while also talking about the show but they're not actually talking about the show. Clever (Yes, this is sarcasm.). There is something I like about that scene though. Jughead tells F.P. that he's less interested in "whodunnit" than he is about the idea of Riverdale being a good or a bad place and F.P. suggests that it can be both. That's Riverdale in a nutshell. It's giving us the world of Archie we've always known and it's also adding a lot of darkness and edge into that world but one doesn't negate the other. The good and bad in Riverdale exist side-by-side, making for a much more interesting show than if it had just picked one or the other.

-The "F.P. and Jughead discuss the book scene" also provides a fascinating glimpse into Jughead's worldview, showing us that no matter how wise beyond his years he seems, in the end he's a kid who still has a "black/white" sense of viewing the world. Few things are purely good and few things are purely bad, as the character of F.P. and his arc of "criminal trying to get his life and family back together" illustrate, but Jughead has a hard time seeing things that way. It's why when he discovers Archie and Veronica's betrayal at the end, he's equally mad at Betty even though her offense is nowhere near as bad. It's why Jason's death and all the complexities and deceptions it's revealed has rattled him so. Jughead is on course to learn that the world isn't all black and white, and hopefully he'll learn that sooner rather than later.

-After a couple weeks of relatively good and sympathetic behaviour, Alice is back up to her old tricks this week. Would you believe that Betty inviting her mother to join the school newspaper that she revived solely to get away from her mother turned out to be a bad idea? Honestly Betty is right to be mad at Archie and Veronica for going behind her back to investigate things while she was busy but she also needs to be mad at herself for allowing her mother into the school newspaper in the first place.

-Hiram is getting out of prison in time for season 2 (Where he'll be a series regular played by Mark Consuelos, unless Consuelos' other show Pitch gets a second season) and Veronica is not happy. Camila Mendes has been playing Veronica's growing disillusionment with the man who recently blackmailed her very well these past few episodes and she's especially good at keeping Veronica sympathetic tonight as she reaches her low point here, going behind Betty and Jughead's backs to help Alice investigate F.P., convinced that he murdered Jason on her father's orders. When Jughead brought up how he doesn't really consider Veronica a friend in the last episode, what seemed like a clever observation on how those two really don't interact outside of a group context turns out to be a plot point here as Veronica doesn't have the loyalty to Jughead that Archie and Betty do. So when the opportunity to learn the truth about her father comes up, of course she's going to take it. She's so obsessed with the idea that her father could be involved in this that she almost gets her and Archie caught during their break-in session because she can't believe there's nothing there. It's an interesting turn for the character in line with how comic Veronica would behave and Mendes does a great job selling it.

-Okay, let's get real. Archie claims he was helping Veronica investigate F.P. because he was worried about Jughead but we all know the real reason. He just wanted to finally be involved with the murder investigation after a whole season of being at most, Murder Mystery-Adjacent. And if he also got some action because of that, all the better. This episode does a really good job though at showing how Archie's biggest character trait, his need to help and protect his friends is also his biggest character flaw. Archie ultimately agrees to investigate F.P. because he doesn't want Jughead to get hurt by his dad again, even though he knows he's breaking Jughead's trust by doing this. He doesn't trust Jughead to handle the information. He just decides what's best for Jughead and does it no matter the consequence. That's called being a bad friend Arch.

-You know it's a great episode of Riverdale when there's an awkward dinner scene and we get a great one this week when Alice invites F.P and Jughead to dinner so she can interrogate F.P. while Archie and Veronica are off breaking into his trailer. Betty has been learning some tricks from Alice though and invites her father to dinner to throw Alice off. This leads to a fantastic scene where Mädchen Amick, Lochlyn Munroe and Skeet Ulrich passive aggressively insult each other and throw veiled references to Alice's abortion around that's uncomfortable to watch but impossible to look away from.

-Seriously though, did Jughead really not pick up on the fact that Alice clearly suspects F.P. of being up to something during that dinner? She wasn't even hiding it! Why did he need Betty to tell him what he could see with his own eyes?

-Cole Sprouse does a terrific job as Jughead every week but he really takes it up a notch this week. We know all that kid wants is to have his family back together and to have that dream finally start to become a reality (Even if it means moving to Toledo) only to have it snatched away at the same time his closest friends (and Veronica) betray him is devastating, made even more devastating by the way Sprouse makes us feel what Jughead is feeling every step of the way.

-So I know I rag on Jughead's narration almost as much as I rag on Archie's music (the best joke of the night for me was easily the scene where Betty and Jughead finally have a reaction about Archie's music that isn't "It's uniformly great!") and I know that I literally started this review ragging on his narration but because we've spent all season accustomed to some kind of narration to close out the episode (Though not always), the total lack of it once Jughead disappears after homecoming added greatly to the emotional impact of him leaving.

-Archie and Veronica breaking into F.P.'s trailer was bad but if they didn't do it, they wouldn't have realized he was being framed later. So what they did was bad AND good. Duality. Sometimes it's cool to break and enter.

-Meanwhile Cheryl apparently forgot that she's supposed to be holding a grudge against Polly (Based on the fact that an episode literally ended with Cheryl crossing out Polly's face on a picture) and the two of them are out campaigning to be the co-queens of homecoming. Of course this is all just pretense for them to have a reason to stumble upon the ring Jason was going to give to Polly hiding among Penelope's things. The elder Blossoms are such obvious villains that it seemed to eliminate them as killer candidates but this episode makes a strong case for them to have done it. Sure Jason denouncing them and returning the ring seems believable and them drugging Polly to calm her down is perfectly in character but finally giving Cheryl the validation and approval that she's always craved? Telling her she should be running the company one day despite everything they said about her a couple episodes back? They are hiding something for sure. Luckily, Cheryl isn't an idiot and she's holding onto that ring nice and tight (Also I know they were trying to appease Cheryl but the fact that they took her story about disposing of the ring at face value seemed out of character for them, considering how distrustful and paranoid they are.).

-Molly Ringwald is still around and she's a delight as Mary, fitting into the world of Riverdale perfectly whether she's trying to get Archie to go to Chicago, bantering with Fred, or not buying into Alice's mindgames for a second. More of her please!

-Mary thinks Archie will be safe living in Chicago? That seems a bit too farfetched, even for Riverdale.

-The scene where Fred enters the dance with both Hermione and Mary at his side was a very funny recreation of when Archie did the same thing with Betty and Veronica during the first episode. Like father, like son.

-I enjoyed Archie and Veronica's performance of Kids in America, even if Archie's guitar seemed totally unnecessary but it's telling that Archie couldn't come up with his own upbeat, danceable song. Expand your range Archie. You won't get far without it.

-Also we're totally getting The Archies in season 2 whether we want them or not, right?

-Murder Theory Corner: I'll be honest. I'm impressed with how straightforward Riverdale has kept it's big murder mystery. There isn't dozens of suspects or reasons why Jason Blossom could have been murdered and everything seems to come back to the Coopers and the Blossoms or the Blossoms and the Lodges. The show means it when it says they don't care about the "whodunnit" aspect. So I'm comfortable with buying into the idea that Penelope or Cliff Blossom killed Jason. In case the show does want to surprise us with the big reveal though, let's have Hermione Lodge as a back-up guess. And as a real outlier theory, let's speculate that Jason was killed because he was trying to rip off drugs from the Southside Serpents by Mayor McCoy, who secretly has the Serpents under her thumb and uses their profits for her own end (It won't be this, but better safe than sorry).

Riverdale: Chapter Ten: The Lost Weekend

-Pop Quiz: You have helped thrown your best friend a birthday party you know he doesn't want because everyone throwing the party is trying to avoid their own issues. It's a small, intimate deal but even with a couple drinks in your system, it is obvious your friend is uncomfortable by all of this. Then the doorbell rings and an army of kids led by the girl you and your friends recently pissed off and the guy two of your friends got kicked off the football team are at your door wanting to turn your party into a rager. Do you let them in despite the fact that there's no way this ends well for anyone? Answer: Of course not, unless you're a total idiot. Luckily for Riverdale, they've set up their lead character to do nothing but make the wrong decision time and time again so it makes perfect sense that Archie would let these people in. He doesn't know any better.

-Jughead and Betty have been in a relationship for a few episodes now, but we've yet to really explore what that means for either of them until The Lost Weekend, which uses Jughead's birthday to put their relationship under the microscope as Jughead has to deal with a party he doesn't want and Betty has to deal with the return of Chuck Clayton, who can't shut up about Dark Betty (The side of Betty we saw way back in episode 3 when Betty disassociated and tried to drown Chuck in a hot tub), compelling Betty to try and do something normal like throw her boyfriend a birthday party. This inevitably leads to conflict between them and the episode does a really good job developing the argument between Betty and Jughead so we can understand where both sides are coming from. On the one hand, Betty is aware that Jughead doesn't want this party and that she's throwing it for the wrong reasons but she does it anyways, which isn't a great relationship move even if her heart is in the right place. On the other hand, Jughead doesn't even try to give the small, intimate version of the party a chance and he makes a lot of wrong assumptions about Betty and why she wants to be in this relationship with him. We get it Jug, you're a moody outsider and you got a lot of pain, but you don't have the monopoly on pain and feeling like an outsider and it's not cool of you to act like you do.

-Thank God F.P. is weirdly hanging around a wild party full of teenagers (Seriously, Betty inviting him to the double feature made sense but inviting him to this party did not) so he can talk some sense into Jughead and shut the party down when it goes too far. The Lost Weekend could've used Jughead's "We're too different to be together" argument and Chuck's subsequent revelations about Dark Betty as a catalyst to break Betty and Jughead up like many a lesser show would've done but instead the show ably demonstrates why Betty and Jughead are actually a good couple. They're two kids who are both damaged thanks to their messed-up family situations and who both feel like outsiders even if one of them is a cheerleader, but when they're together they make each other feel normal and less alone. It's not the most original take on a relationship in the world but Cole Sprouse and Lili Reinhart sell it with their terrific chemistry. Their reconciliation at the end of the episode is genuinely sweet and I'm much more interested in this relationship now than I was an episode ago.

-I don't understand why people let Secrets & Sins go on for as long as it did. It was obvious from the get-go that Cheryl and Chuck were up to something and things took a turn for the uncomfortable almost right away. Also Dilton abruptly deciding to participate and drop the bomb about Archie and Ms. Grundy felt really shoehorned in, like the writers remembered that was still a loose plot thread they should probably address which they then put in in the most awkward way possible. Veronica finally voicing what everyone was thinking about Cheryl's affection for her brother was a lot of fun though so at least the scene has that going for it.

-Also I felt the flashes to the depravity of the party and Jughead's ominous narration about the party made the whole situation seem more exciting than it actually was. Like it wasn't a good party and those secrets that came out are probably going to have consequences for the remainder of the season, but the set-up made it seem like Archie's house would burn down or something equally apocalyptic and what we got was just standard teen drama.

-I am liking the return of Chuck as an extra element of chaos for the show though. Jordan Calloway does a great job getting across the entitled sliminess of the character in every line reading. Teaming him up with Cheryl was also a lot of fun as Calloway and Madelaine Petsch seemed determined to top the other in terms of over-the-top campy insanity.

-Veronica challenging Cheryl to a dance-off for the head cheerleader position is another thing that felt shoehorned in so the writers could get Cheryl firmly back in the antagonist camp but the dance-off itself was a lot of fun, as was Cheryl admonishing those extras who always follow her around for being extras.

-Let's be honest, Archie is more fun when he's drunk. Sure he still has his typical Archie problems like being concerned about his parent's divorce being finalized (Which is a pretty solid problem for him to be concerned about actually) but at least when he's drunk he does things like invite a bunch of shady characters and randos into his home and drunk dial his dad to spice the scenes of him dealing with his problems up. I probably shouldn't be advocating for Archie to start drinking all the time, but I care way more about Drunk Archie than I do Sober Archie.

-Keeping Luke Perry offscreen for the majority of the Archie plot is a smart choice. As much as I would've liked to see more of Molly Ringwald, keeping what happened between Fred and Mary a mystery allows the show to keep the story focus solely on Archie and his attempts to forget about the situation, which is what was needed to make this story work.

-So Archie and Veronica kissed and spent the night together (I'm assuming nothing much further than that happened since they woke up in separate beds and Archie sleeping with Veronica for the first time would be too big of an event to just gloss over). It was an unexpected move that came out of nowhere with minimal set-up but I bought it. Archie and Veronica are both in weird head spaces and are both trying to distract themselves from their problems so it makes sense that they'd do something impulsive like this. It'll be interesting to see how they handle this development going forward and if it'll be a one-off thing (for now) or the beginning of an Archie/Veronica coupling.

-The show's slow burn in setting up the inevitable arrival of Hiram Lodge and all the drama that's going to bring is starting to reach a boiling point as we learn the Blossoms have been making payments to the Lodges for 75 years (Weird, that seems to be as long as the town of Riverdale has been around) giving motivation for the feud between their families and a reason for Hiram to be a suspect in this murder. Hiram also makes his presence known when Veronica is unsure about testifying to his character through a letter that's simultaneously loving and threatening, hinting that he'd throw Hermione in harm's way to save his own skin if he had to. It instantly makes Hiram one of the more compelling antagonists the show has and he hasn't even appeared in the flesh yet (Who should play him when that happens by the way? I'm picturing a Jimmy Smits type). The "good girl" necklace he sends Veronica when she ultimately decides to testify for her mother's sake is equally chilling.

-Also kudos for the show for having Archie and Betty tell Veronica about Clifford getting her dad arrested immediately instead of having them keep it from her for no real reason.

-I'm surprised that Alice's only objection to the big party going on right next to her house was the presence of F.P. Even a couple episodes ago, she would've shut that party down before Cheryl and Chuck were even through the door. I guess that's character development for you. Also Alice is apparently the only character who figured out that a Southside Serpent dating the son of the sheriff in the middle of a big murder investigation is probably not above board. Smart Alice.

-Hey, Molly Ringwald's here! I'm sure her arrival at the end would've been much more surprising if I hadn't been aware that she was playing Mary Andrews for weeks now but it's still an effective way to end the episode.

-This Week in Hot Archie: Shirtless Archie crashing on Jughead's bed so Veronica can sleep in his.

-This Week in Hot Betty: Seductive Happy Birthday has been done to death at this point, but Lili Reinhart really sells it here. Also she looks really good in that crown T-Shirt.

-Speaking of Archie sleeping in Jughead's bed, where did Jughead sleep? Was he just out all night? He seemed surprised to see Veronica so I don't think he checked Archie's room to find his bed was taken.

-I know this is a darker, more emotional take on Jughead but having it look like he's crying tears of blood (Well it was really only one tear) is a little too on the nose for me.

-I really want to know more about Alice's past growing up on the wrong side of the tracks and maybe being a Serpent. Here's hoping the arrival of Molly Ringwald also means we get some flashbacks to the parent's past next week.

-Murder Theory Corner: Veronica accuses Cheryl of murdering her brother out of a jealous rage so it's safe to take Cheryl off the suspect list again. Veronica also suggests that F.P. could've killed Jason on her father's behalf, so he's probably off the suspect list too. Meanwhile Smithers assures Veronica that Hermione is unequivocally good to convince her to protect her mother and testify on her father's behalf and Hermione as the killer is beginning to seem more and more like a possibility. Apparently we're going to find out who killed Jason before the end of the season so get ready for that reveal.

Riverdale Chapter Nine: La Grande Illusion

-One of the smartest decisions Riverdale ever made was making the principle industry of their town and the source of the Blossom's wealth and power maple syrup. If Riverdale was built on, say, oil or lumber, the Blossoms would still be interesting characters because of how ridiculous and over-the-top they are but they would feel slightly more generic, more run-of-the-mill evil rich people. Maple syrup though, is such an unlikely source of power that it gives the Blossoms a much needed specificity and adds some extra quirkiness to their sinister vibe. The idea that this dark and twisted family's claim to fame is a substance that's so sweet and overpowering just fits as does the increasingly growing possibility that all the murder and forbidden love and craziness on this show can be traced back to one man killing another over syrup.

-Archie lucks out this week and gets to be the star of the episode again. He even gets to learn some relevant plot information, lucky guy. It looks like the writers were challenging themselves to find a way to work Archie's desire to be a musician into a story that actually tied into the important plots of the show and their best solution was to put him in his own version of Indecent Proposal where instead of a million dollars, he gets help with his music. It's a story that's been told so many times that you probably guessed how it would play out right away, but it works because it allows us for another deep dive into the world of the Blossoms, which always works well for the show and it takes Cheryl's arc in a promising new direction.

-Cheryl Blossom was introduced to us as a simple chaos-driven antagonist, but the show and Madelaine Petsch quickly fleshed her out into more than that, created a fascinating, complex, tragic character trying to figure out how to cope with the loss of the only person who ever truly cared about her. La Grande Illusion doesn't show us anything really that we didn't already see in Heart of Darkness, but it does reinforce just how hard Cheryl really has it without Jason. Whether because of her gender, her tendency for drama, or her inability to be liked, no one on the Blossom Syrup board views her as stable or suitable enough to be heir for the Blossom Syrup company, not even her parents. She and her parents are all trying to turn Archie into Jason, but she's doing it because she genuinely likes Archie and her parents are doing it because they'd rather have him run the company than Cheryl. It's a hard truth for her to face but she tries to ignore it and push it away until Archie rejects her after they kiss. It's this rejection that puts her back on the path to being a chaos-driven antagonist as the season enters it's 3rd act, but the difference is now we can more fully identify with her and understand where her anger is coming from.

-La Grande Illusion is actually pretty smart in how it gets us so focused on Archie's moral dilemma about how far in bed to get with the Blossoms, we forget about the fact that Cheryl isn't part of her parents game until she blows up on him for using her to get what he wants. Archie's dilemma was never a dilemma. There's a difference between making a connection and having someone let you in before you earned your place (If the uptight New York guy doesn't like your music, the elite Music School People probably won't either, Archie!). He was always doing the wrong thing, even when he tried to get altruistic about it and help his dad out and Riverdale isn't afraid to call him on it. It's a good move that makes Archie more flawed and therefore, more interesting.

-Valerie breaking up with Archie for always ignoring her and never spending enough time with her felt like the writers coping to the fact that they didn't actually have space in the season to explore Archie dating Val outside of the episode where they got together. Which is a shame because Hayley Law is a delight in the role and hopefully we'll get to see more of her outside of the Josie scenes (Speaking of which, where has Josie disappeared to?). I am glad they didn't try to use that Archie/Cheryl kiss to motivate the Archie/Val break-up. Val had enough reason to break up with him when he downplayed her genuine concerns about him going to the dinner. She didn't need another reason.

-Archie accidentally stumbling on Penelope and Clifford talking about how Clifford should've sent Hermione to jail instead of Hiram was one of the most delightfully soap opera-ish moments on this show to date and I loved it so much.

-So Polly's dramatic decision to join the Blossom household last week turns out to be part of her plan to go undercover and figure out what really happened to Jason. It's a reveal that undercuts the tragedy of last week's ending somewhat but also makes a lot of sense with what we know of Polly. My question? If Polly didn't want Betty to worry about her, wouldn't it make more sense to just tell her her plan before she went to Thornhill? Yes, Betty might have tried to talk her out of it but she probably would come around to the idea quicker than she'd accept that her sister had abruptly abandoned her. It just feels like a silly way to create more drama for the show.

-Shannon Purser returns this week as Ethel Muggs and there's no wink-y Stranger Things joke this time, but we do get more of a character exploration for her. Ethel reads a pretty personal, dark poem in school and Veronica becomes concerned about her, deciding to befriend her to make amends for her bullying ways back when she lived in New York. It's a story that seems ripped out of a Very Special Archie at first, but it takes an intriguing turn when we find out that Ethel's family is having financial troubles because her dad invested with Hiram. Veronica has always had a loyalty to her father that's felt kind of naive, so it's interesting to watch the show dive into it and pull it apart until it finally breaks as she realizes that her dad has hurt people. Camila Mendes turns in a terrific performance as Veronica struggles to find some way to make amends for what Hiram has done only to realize she can't. Purser for her part mostly has to look sad and grieve, but she's able to put a lot of nuance and humanity into it, and the final passages of the plot where she's able to overlook Veronica's name and remain friends with her is both powerful and unexpectedly sweet for Riverdale.

-Apparently Hermione had forgotten that Fred could actually lose a lot being in business with the Lodges as once Veronica points out he could ends up with Ethel's dad, she finally decides to tell him that she's the mystery buyer he's working for (She tells him about Hiram hiring the thugs too for good measure). Fred reacts as one would when they find out their girlfriend has involved them in a criminal enterprise without telling them. The end sets up an interesting status quo going forward though as Fred breaks up with Hermione, but agrees to stay on the project for a 20% stake in it. After weeks of basically reacting to things, it's nice to see Fred finally take charge on something.

-So here's where the Ethel/Veronica plot confused me. Was Ethel unaware that Veronica was Veronica Lodge or was she just unaware of the specifics of what her father did? I was under the impression that everyone was aware of who Veronica was so I was confused why Ethel was so surprised at Veronica's confession.

-Betty, Alice, and Jughead are mostly on the side of the action this week, getting information about Polly and the Blossoms from Archie so Alice can write an expose and Betty can find out if her sister is OK. Alice gets a really effective arc though as her initial reversion to her old behaviour and her indifference towards Polly is quickly revealed to be a front for the amount of pain she feels from her daughter's rejection. Alice also began this season as a simple antagonist, but she finally comes over to the protagonist side tonight (for now at least) as mother, daughter, and daughter's aloof boyfriend start working in tandem to take down the Blossoms. It's a big leap from where she was even a few episodes ago but it feels earned and natural because the show has been quietly building towards it for weeks.

-I don't understand why Hal doesn't want to print the expose about the Blossoms. Yes, he's mad at his wife and has somehow fired her from the newspaper, even though she always seemed like she was the one running the show there. But why is he pretending he doesn't care about the Blossom family at all and this whole thing has been Alice's obsession? Did he forget about how just last week he was screaming about refusing to raise a child with Blossom blood? Or the family blood feud? Running this piece helps his agenda and it seems like a false note that he's not interested. I can forgive it though because the scene where Alice dramatically tosses a rock through the Register's window was easily the best part of the episode.

-So Alice is going to work for the high school newspaper now? Wasn't the reason Betty started the newspaper up again in the first place to get away from her mother's sensationalism? I know Betty has become more sympathetic to her mother's cause but does she really think that's going to change? Also how is the school OK with letting a non-faculty adult just work on a school newspaper? And does that newspaper even get put out? I was just under the impression that they used the office to stash their murder board. And don't even get me started on what Jughead implied about the paper having a large overhead budget (I'm really hoping that was supposed to be a joke).

-This Week in Dapper Archie: Nice suit Archiekins. It'd look even better with some dignity.

-If Archie was smart, he'd hang onto that guitar the Blossoms gave him but he's probably going to give it back out of some misplaced sense of nobility.

-The dark poem and fears of suicide in this episode reminded me of Netflix's new drama 13 Reasons why, which I watched this week. It's terrific and it features Riverdale's own Ross Butler (Reggie) in a supporting role that gives him a chance to actually show off his acting chops a bit. Hopefully the Riverdale writers also watched this, took note, and are beefing up Reggie's part for next season.

-Murder Theory Corner: It's getting pretty late in the season for someone not connected to the Coopers/Blossoms feud to be involved in killing Jason (Unless they're planning on dragging this out for season 2, which I really hope is not the case). Hiram probably didn't kill Jason, but could Hermione have? It's possible. Alice continues to look like a better and better suspect as well the less suspicious she becomes. It's even possible that Cheryl could've done it without realizing it. After all we know everyone thinks she's unstable. Maybe the one person she trusted to protect her let her down and she went to far? It's hard to say for sure at this point who the killer is, which makes for good TV.

-Next Week: Molly Ringwald!

Riverdale: Chapter Eight: The Outsiders

-OK, let's start this week with the big burning question on everyone's mind: why did Riverdale tiptoe around using the word abortion when discussing the appointment Hal offered to make for Polly (And the one he made for Alice way back when)? OK, maybe this isn't the big question on everyone's mind but I'm curious about it so we're starting with it. It couldn't have been a standards and practice thing. TV has gotten much more open about discussing abortion in recent years and two other CW shows did abortion stories earlier this year where they were very frank and open about it. It might've been an Archie Comics thing but if the company has no problem with the this dark, sexier take on Archie I can't imagine they'd object to the word abortion. So is it a story thing? Is it representative of the repression that the Coopers have all internalized? Are Alice and Hal are so obsessed with projecting a certain image that they can't even bring themselves to utter the word in privatw for fear of scandal? Probably. If this is what the writers are going for though, it's too bad the result is a couple key scenes of the episode feeling like they're from the 80s or 90s.

-Alright, now that I've gotten that off of my chest, let's get to the actual meat of the episode. Riverdale did something weird this week: they made Archie the focus of the big, flashy A-story and relegated the clash between the Coopers and the Blossoms to the B-story sidelines. Now technically In A Lonely Place did the same thing, but Jughead was definitely the lead character of that episode, while Archie was relegated to the sidelines. To contrast, The Outsiders puts Archie front and centre as he learns about his father's business woes and takes matters into his own hands in an effort to fix them. Why is this weird? Mostly because Archie is almost never the focal point of a Riverdale episode. He gets storylines and stuff but they're almost never supposed to be the most compelling part of the episode. Even the episode ostensibly about Archie's romance with Grundy was more of a Betty episode. This has been to the show's benefit because Archie is clearly the weakest character and his biggest character traits (Music! Good friend apparently!) doesn't translate to compelling A-stories. The Outsiders takes a gamble though by leaning on Archie's 3rd and 4th biggest character traits (Loves his dad! Does Not Think Things Through!) and it works pretty well. Archie's still not as compelling as the other characters and The Outsiders isn't as good as the past couple episodes but it's a solid outing.

-The main thrust of the episode revolves around Andrews Construction, which is undergoing problems thanks to Cliff Blossom stealing away the construction crew and random thugs trashing the equipment when Archie, Jughead, Kevin, Moose, and some rando jock come in as a replacement crew. Now the parts of this story that revolve around the land itself, whether from Cliff Blossom trying to stall out construction to get the land or Hermione trying to not tell Fred that Hiram owns the land are pretty dull because land contracts are pretty dull and it's never been clear why so many TV shows seems to think otherwise. The interesting stuff comes from Fred trying to hold the company he built together and Archie realizing for the first time how hard his dad has been working to keep them afloat. That's compelling stuff. The Andrews boys aren't the most interesting characters on the show by far but their bond and their relationship has developed this season in an interesting way as Archie begins to see his dad as more human and tries to start giving back to his dad a little. The care put into developing that relationship carries much of this portion of the episode and provides useful context to Archie's impulsive decision making.

-Of course, as much as Archie wants to help his dad, he's still a kid so a lot of his solutions involve getting into danger, trying to take justice into his own hands and yelling at Jughead for not mentioning that his dad was a Serpent without trying to consider Jughead's possible reasons for omitting this. Maybe the reason Archie is the most frustrating character on this show is because Archie is the one who acts the most like a normal, if a bit hotheaded teenager would in this situation, and a normal teenager would not be useful. It's all well-acted by K.J. Apa though who brings a lot to a thankless role and the reconciliation between Archie and Jughead at the end does a good job at folding in the theme of children protecting their parents. Seriously though Arch, learn to control that temper of yours before you get into real trouble.

-Can you really blame Jughead for not wanting to tell people that his dad was a Serpent? Of course not, unless you're Archie. Cole Sprouse does a really good job capturing how conflicted Jughead is in this episode, as he struggles between helping Archie out and not wanting to believe that his dad could've sunk so low. Of course, even without his dad being a member, Jughead is right about not jumping to conclusions about who the thugs were. He does seem a little too surprised when he's informed the Serpents are drug dealers though. Like what did he think the Serpents did? Just hung around and caused random trouble like they were a street gang from out of The Warriors? C'mon Jughead. Use your brain.

-Really the best part of the main story is the continued presence of Skeet Ulrich, oozing charisma as he gets to play the more confident, dangerous side of F.P. this week. After the drunken mess we saw last week, it's a bit weird to see how in control of himself F.P. is, but Ulrich keeps things consistent, letting us see the more vulnerable side of F.P. in moments like his confrontation with Fred or his interrogation from Jughead.

-Ultimately the saboteurs turn out to have been hired by Hiram, presumably because he knows about Hermione and Fred. This is an interesting development but I'm more curious about the fact that the thugs are identified as being from Montreal. First, is having Montreal connections supposed to be threatening? Every time they said Montreal, it just sounded goofier and goofier. Also, how does Hiram know people in Montreal? Are they implying that's where he's imprisoned? Or does he just have criminal connections up there? Is this all coming back to maple syrup?

-I know Fred is desperate for a crew but hiring a bunch of people you know are criminals because your old high school buddy charms you into it does not seem like the best idea.

-I was a bit disappointed that we didn't get to spend more time in the Southside Serpent's bar, which gave off a really cool Mos Eisley vibe.

-Kevin's Southside Serpent boyfriend Joaquin returns to remind us he exists before the reveal that he's been romancing Kevin on F.P.'s orders to get a line on the sheriff's department. This is a decent twist but it really needed one or two more appearances from Joaquin prior to the reveal for it to land. Like we've only known the guy two episodes so it's not as big a betrayal for the audience as it could've been. Also Joaquin is totally going to fall for Kevin for real right before his deception is discovered and Kevin dumps him.

-Is F.P. the leader of the Serpents? From the way he commands the bar, he's clearly high up in the chain of command, but no one seems to notice this or care.

-Meanwhile the Polly Cooper story heats up as Betty and Veronica throw Polly a baby shower in an effort to ease tensions with Alice and to a lesser extent, the Blossoms in hopes of figuring something out for Polly and the baby (Or babies if Grandma Blossom is to be believed). Now throwing Alice, Polly, Penelope, and Cheryl into a room together seems like a recipe for disaster and the show even suggests it will be by having Hermione remind us that the Blossoms and Coopers are the Hatfields and McCoys of Riverdale. Rather then things turning crazy immediately though, writer Julia Cohen uses our expectations to build tension, even when nothing that tense is happening. When the conflict does burst out over Penelope trying to get Polly back to Thornhill, it's quick and messy, a cathartic release of tension that feels well-earned and that pushes the story in an interesting direction.

-Mädchen Amick has been killing it from episode one on Riverdale, playing a ridiculously broad cartoon villain, but one who had hints of depth and humanity to her. The Outsiders though brings her to new heights as we see Alice finally seem like a real, vulnerable human being finally starting to figure out the terribleness of her actions. It comes up slowly at first as we see her slowly warm up to the baby shower she had no interest in attending at the episode's beginning. Alice clearly doesn't like that this is happening but she does love her daughter and she does want her to come home so she decides to take the step of welcoming Polly home. It's more humanity than we've seen from Alice so far. Then Alice learns Hal tried to schedule an appointment for Polly to take care of her problem and we see something else. From the way Alice reacted when she heard what Hal did, I figured that this story was building to Alice throwing him out but I was blown away by the depths of pain and rage that Amick shows in her confrontation with Hal (Who is becoming more and more monstrous by the week as the depths of his Blossom hatred keep getting exposed). The way she shouts at him to get out, as we see her building up the strength to bring herself to say the words is extraordinary, only matched by the defeated and exhausted way she admits that she doesn't care about what people think anymore. It's a stunning display of the depths of her love for her daughter and it makes what comes next all the more heartbreaking.

-I'll admit it. I did not see Polly choosing to go to Thornhill rather than return home even after learning what Alice did coming. The episode lures you into a false sense of security with that scene between Betty and Polly before punching you in the gut with the very next scene. It's a shocking move but one that makes total sense. The Blossoms are sketchy but they're offering financial and emotional stability that Alice just can't offer. In addition, Alice did arrange for Polly to be sent to an asylum and that's not something that can be easily papered over. Still it's a surprising turn of events and the shot of Betty holding a crying Alice before showing Polly walk through those doors is an effectively devastating note to end the episode on.

-It's a small moment, but the look Penelope and Cliff give each other as Polly enters into Thornhill gave me chills. Polly, get out of there while you still can.

-I really like the cinematography on the big Betty/Jughead kiss. The way the camera uses the streetlights to give the impression of their romance being a bright spot in the darkness of their lives? Well done.

-This Week in Hot Archie Gang: Are you a fan of watching attractive men do manual labour? How about Cole Sprouse in a tank top? If so, then the beginning portions of the episode were definitely for you.

-This Week in Dumb Archie: Wearing your high school letterman jacket into a seedy bar? Way to be inconspicuous, Archie.

-Nana Rose Blossom has dementia and gypsy blood. So she's definitely giving Cheryl a run for her money as the best character on this show.

-So that giant building Fred is constructing is definitely going to be the Lodge Mansion, right? That feels like the only thing interesting enough to justify dedicating all this time to a story about construction contracts.

-Murder Theory Corner: Well the Southside Serpents are definitely trying to get away with something. Is it murder? Hard to say. I'm almost certain they burned down that car because of drugs though. Meanwhile Alice gives Hal a "You know what I'm capable of", which could be a red herring but given that we're eight episodes in and Jason and Polly's romance is still the only plausible reason for his murder, who knows? Alice is less obvious as a choice for killer now. Maybe she is the killer after all. Cliff Blossom is also starting to feel like a possibility, considering he's filling the role on the show that Hiram filled in the comics meaning that when Hiram comes to Riverdale inevitably, Cliff will be expendable.

Riverdale: Chapter Seven: In A Lonely Place

-At it's core Riverdale isn't a deconstruction of Archie comics, it's a deconstruction of the idea of Archie Comics, built up over the course of it's over 75 year history. It takes the "idealized, make-believe TV version of the American Dream" that we associate with Archie, a world where squeaky-clean teenagers hang out at Malt shops, have innocent love triangles and get into wholesome mischief trying to solve their simple problems, and turns it on it's head, revealing that image for the unrealistic fantasy it's always been. Our core Archie characters (I.E. Anyone who isn't a parent) haven't been significantly changed. Archie still does whatever it takes to help his friends, Jughead still follows his own path, Betty is still down-to-earth and driven, Veronica is still sophisticated and glamorous, and so on. What's changed is their circumstances, the world around them has become darker and more dangerous than the platonic ideal of the comics, but also richer and more rewarding for the people watching them. Despite all the murder and insanity around them, Archie and the gang feel relatable, much more so than those happy, idealized versions that have dominated the imagination for so long. Riverdale isn't ignoring it's history, it's just rearranging it in a way that resonates with people today, and when it nods to that history with moments like Jughead's comic-inspired dream tonight, it makes the show that much more effective.

-That whole spiel was my way of saying how much I appreciated the opening dream sequence, particularly the costuming on everyone. Seriously that might be my favourite Riverdale moment to date. It even elevated the narration around it. And the way reality starts to creep in as idealized Archie is stabbed in the back (Can you tell Jughead is conflicted about what happened with Betty?) to end the dream before transitioning into the sequence of Jughead wandering the school he's been living in was masterful.

-Riverdale has been on a real upswing ever since Ms. Grundy left and that continues with In A Lonely Place. This episode doesn't have any crazy setpiece like Jason's memorial or the trip to the asylum (Though the dueling search/hunting parties for Polly early in the episode comes close) but it makes up for that with some serious character work for Jughead, Fred, and F.P., fleshing out some relationships and dynamics that sorely needed it while keeping things entertaining.

-In his first appearance, all Skeet Ulrich really got to do as F.P. was be imposing and threatening until the big twist that his character was Jughead's father, which came on the heels of the other twist that revealed Jughead was currently homeless. These two things seemed to suggest that Jughead and his father had an animosity-filled relationship but the truth turns out to be more complicated than that. Ulrich does a great job this week making F.P. into a tragic figure, a guy who wants to put his life together and get his family back, but just isn't strong enough to change. Cole Sprouse also gives his strongest performance to date as he gets across how much Jughead loves his dad, while still being angry for how much F.P. has screwed everything up. When F.P. shows up at the end of the episode drunk and ready to fight the sheriff before resolving to get clean in a couple months, you can just feel the heartbreak. A sense of regret and uncertainty hangs over every scene they share together and you really feel the weight of the situation.

-We also find out more about F.P. and Fred's history tonight as we learn that they used to be the best of friends before their big falling out. Fred has been kind of a snooze of a character so far (Though not as much as his son) but Luke Perry does great work tonight underlining the character's fundamental decency and the uneasiness he has about giving F.P. a second chance after all that's happened. It really drives home the idea of Fred as an older version of Archie, one who will do what it takes to help people in need but who has enough experience to recognize when he's dealing with a lost cause. It doesn't mean Fred's a bad guy, just a responsible one, even if Archie is right to be mad about how Fred's decision also left Jughead to "drown" also.

-My favourite thing Riverdale has done with the adult characters is establish a history between all of them that suggests they were once just like the Archie gang before assorted life decisions got in the way of that. We see it most clearly with Fred and Hermione's flirtation and Fred and J.P.'s history, but also in things like Hermione saying she'd do anything for Alice Cooper's daughters. It gives the sense that our heroes are part of a cycle and something much bigger than themselves. I'm really hoping that we get flashbacks to Fred and company's younger days at some point (Maybe with their children playing their younger selves to really drive home the parallels.). I feel that could be interesting.

-Archie didn't have a huge storyline this week, which is for the best. Archie is at his strongest as a character when he's a supporting player in other people's stories rather than holding down his own. Here his main goal in the episode is to help Jughead. There's a bit of conflict with Fred when he learns about Fred unceremoniously cutting F.P out of the company they started, but even that comes more out of a place of anger about Jughead's struggles than anything and it's easily resolved once he sees Fred lie to the sheriff to help Jughead. If only Archie could be mostly out of the spotlight every week.

-So after the big Betty/Jughead kiss last week, it's still kind of unclear to everyone (especially them) where things stand between them and the whole thing is really underplayed this week. That's a smart move. Also though the opening dream set up the idea that Jughead was betraying Archie, Archie didn't get jealous at all when he found out, nor did it defer his efforts to help Jughead. He even apologizes to Betty for not being around to support her like Jughead was That was good to see because Archie being jealous would have felt inorganic and made him pretty unlikeable, considering he hasn't had much interest in Betty to date anyways. Good move Riverdale writers.

-The one story beat that felt off about this episode was the revelation that Jughead spent time in juvenile detention six years back for trying to burn down Riverdale Elementary (He explains it as him just "playing with matches"). It comes out of nowhere to basically set up the "Fred saves the day and falsifies evidence" beats of the plot and winds up feeling like one complication too many. Sheriff Keller's interview with Jughead where he judges him based on his upbringing also seemed out of character for someone who's been characterized as much more reasonable and level-headed up to now. Maybe the pressure from the Blossom's is getting to him.

-After last episode ended with Polly escaping from the asylum, I figured she'd be kept off the board for a couple episodes while the show dealt with other stuff or spun it's wheels a bit. Instead not only is the question of her whereabouts answered by the half point of In A Lonely Place, but the end of the episode sets her up to be around for the rest of the season. This was surprising but also welcome. Tiera Skovbye is great in the role and I'm excited to see her bounce off the rest of the cast (Particularly her new roommates Veronica and Hermione) throughout the remainder of the season.

-After a week off, Cheryl was back with a vengeance this week as she mobilizes the masses against Polly Cooper only for things to take an abrupt turn when she learns that Polly's pregnant with Jason's baby. Cheryl's sudden turn into from wanting to lynch Polly to wanting to help her could seem abrupt and jarring but Madelaine Petsch is able to make it work by anchoring Cheryl's actions to her love of her brother that gives her arc some needed consistency. Everything Cheryl does in this episode from tweeting out that Polly killed Jason to telling Polly not to go to her parents when it becomes obvious they want to get rid of her and take the baby for themselves makes sense because we know how much Cheryl loves Jason and how desperate she is to get some kind of closure or some reminder of him.

-The first part of the episode promises a big Cooper v. Blossom war as everyone tries to find Polly but it gets quickly defused by Alice's church-side press conference, which is a bit of a let-down. At least we got the aforementioned dueling search/hunting parties scene out of it. That was a lot of fun. This episode also does a good job at comparing and contrasting the Coopers and Blossoms this episode as we see why neither of them would be good for Polly or the baby.

-The most unintentionally funny scene in the episode was the one where Cheryl found out about Polly's asylum escape because the Archie gang held a long conversation about a sensitive subject they all agreed should be kept from the Blossoms in the middle of a very public space full of people (Particularly Ginger, one of Cheryl's minions who's really good at blending into the background.). Really guys? Were you that shocked when the news leaked?

-Betty seems to be on weirdly fine terms with her parents (even if she doesn't trust them with Polly or the baby) considering that last week she literally accused them of murder.

-Veronica acts out against her mother this week as retribution for Hermione's actions last week. Whereas Veronica's anger felt pretty justified last week, her stubborn behavior this week felt overly juvenile and petty for the first part of the episode. It improves in the second part though when she reveals to Kevin, Josie, and Reggie the main reason she's upset about Hermione forging her signature. When the Lodge's lost everything, Hermione swore to her that they'd never be able to take her name, only to take it herself to act against the father Veronica's still loyal to. Even though partnering with Andrews Construction is the right decision, Hermione has seriously breached her daughter's trust. The eventual make-up scene between them also works as it shows that Veronica is willing to make concessions and accept her mother's involvement with Fred to an extent, something it didn't seem like she was willing to do earlier. Her being there to support her mother as she came clean to Hiram about Fred was also an effective button for that particular plotline.

-So when Veronica was planning her night out and telling Kevin that she needed dumb, disposable arm candy, was I the only one who thought she was going to invite Archie? I was glad she went with Reggie though as he's been in serious need of some screentime.

-Josie and Veronica are officially friends now after last week's episode, which hopefully means we'll finally start getting significant screentime for the character and more than the occasional spotlight she's been thrown up to this point.

-This Week in "Conspicuous Covergirl Product Placement": Lots of shots of Alice applying make-up as she prepares to speak in front of the church.

-Fred and J.P. used to be in a band called The Fredheads, which is amazing. Again, good week for Fred.

-So when exactly did Fred fire F.P. anyways? Was this a recent thing or did it happen a long time ago? Because it feels like Jughead being on the streets is a somewhat recent development, but both he and Archie were shocked to find out that Fred and F.P. started the company together and I feel that's something they would be aware of unless this happened ages ago.

-Is that Southside Serpent guy Kevin was flirting with ever going to show up again? Also are Fred, Jughead, and Archie aware of F.P.'s involvement in the Serpents? That part of F.P.'s life was not on display at all apart from a quick conversation with Hermione to close off the plot thread of them threatening her for more money.

-Murder Theory Corner: Hey, my hunch about F.P being involved in the destruction of Jason's car was right on the money . We still don't know why he did it though (Or why he took the jacket and is keeping it fairly visible) so I'm sticking to drugs. I doubt F.P. is the killer because years of avid TV watching has taught me to assume that every obvious killer candidate is a red herring. I guess Jughead's lack of an alibi is questionable but come on, Riverdale is not going to turn one of their most marketable characters with a 75-year history into a murderer. So I'm gonna stick with my Mayor McCoy theory until I have reason to doubt it.

-Bad news. The next new episode of Riverdale isn't until March 30th. Good news! The show got renewed for season 2 this week so we have at least another year of this ridiculous show.

Riverdale: Faster Pussycats! Kill! Kill!

-Man, I love Riverdale. It has a myriad of flaws and plot holes and I'm not sure I would call it "quality" television by any means, but it is very fun, very entertaining television and I'm not sure how I ever managed without it. At many times in this week's episode, my jaw dropped in and my eyes went wide delight at the ridiculous twists and turns. During all three of the big kisses this week, I think I shouted "Whoa!" at my TV screen. Riverdale is a deeply silly show, but it's aware that it's silly and owns it with impressive confidence that keeps the show from being an overly serious, morose wreck. Riverdale may be a darker take on the Archie mythos, but there's an unmistakable joy to it that comes through in every episode and that's what keeps me watching every week. There are plenty of better shows on TV but few of them are as fun as the one that can have both a big high school variety show and a visit to an asylum in the same episode without losing a step.

-Once again, Archie finds himself in high school drama land, completely disconnected from the murder plot at large, save for a funny moment where he offers to help Betty and Jughead but gets shut out. This time though, the grounded high school stuff works as well as the heightened stuff, because Archie isn't shut off from all the more interesting characters as he prepares for the big Variety Show. Veronica and Josie and Val and Kevin are there too to elevate the material enough that Archie was actually kind of interesting this week.

-As the title of the episode implies, "Faster Pussycats! Kill! Kill!" gives us our biggest look yet at Josie and the Pussycats. For a credited main character, we haven't actually spent that much time with Josie yet and don't have much of a sense of who she is as a character beyond "Proud Woman of Colour" "Lead Singer of Josie and the Pussycats" "The Mayor's Abrasive Daughter" and "Apparently Close With Cheryl". This changes tonight as we get a much better sense of why Josie is the way she is and get to see her vulnerable for the very first time. Ashleigh Murray does terrific in her first major spotlight, especially in her crushed reaction when her dad walks out before the end of her performance, which is just heart-breaking.

-Impossible to please parents are a common occurrence on television. Hell, Riverdale already has multiple sets of them. The McCoy's offer a less crazy, more grounded version of the trope though and it works well. We see Sierra McCoy has demanding with her daughter at first as she puts a lot of pressure on her not to disappoint her father at the variety show and exert control over her daughter's brand. This would be enough to explain why Josie seems so harsh in every episode we've seen her in so far but it turns out that Josie's demanding mother is nothing compared to her father Miles, an accomplished Jazz musician who would be right at home in a Damien Chazelle movie. Harsh and pretentious and dismissive of basically every kind of music that isn't Jazz, particularly Pop, Miles is a broadly-drawn caricature, but an effective one. Josie's mom is very invested in the success of her daughter, but she also cares about Josie, where Miles is content to just leave if he doesn't feel Josie is living up to her potential. It makes for a fascinating family dynamic that brings some extra emotional weight to the episode.

-The falling-out between Josie and Val isn't as effective as it could have been because we've been given almost no context for their friendship or dynamic prior to this episode and no reason to invest in the fate of their friendship beyond any nostalgia we have for the old Josie cartoon/movie. Since we've seen nothing of the softer side of Josie prior to this episode, it's hard to understand why Val and Mel are friends with her at all. Everything else is much better though, particularly their reconciliation scene at the end when we get to see actual warmth between the two. We also get a better sense of who Val is after this episode. She's not just back-up for Josie, she's talented in her own right and she appreciates working with Archie, where she actually gets more of a chance to shine. The moment she finds out Miles is in town though, she drops the fight with Josie and makes nice because Val is a great person and cares about her friends well-being. I'm a little nervous for her being in a relationship with Archie because there's no way that ends well, but I'll have to trust the writers know where they're going with this.

-So after getting him into the variety show in the first place, Veronica offers to sing with Archie so he won't have to deal with his stage fright, and then he kicks her out the second Val is available? Not cool! Veronica's anger may have been mostly related to her mom and Fred kissing but this alone is enough to justify her rage. At least Archie apologizes later.

-Archie is basically there this week to suffer stage fright, briefly Yoko the Pussycats, piss off Veronica and overcome his stage fright. He's still the least interesting character in the narrative but I liked him a lot more this week as a character and found the big moment where he performs in front of people for the very first time was emotionally earned very effective. The nicest touch was where after Veronica's advice to focus on someone who makes him feel safe, the show feints with him looking at Veronica before settling on his dad, which was much more realistic.

-As for the song itself? It was alright. Nothing to write home about or give a standing ovation to, but not terrible either. The music element of this show is always going to be tricky because there's a difference between the show telling us something is good and something actually being good, particularly something as subjective as music. But while I didn't find "Only You" particularly memorable, the scene worked in the context of Archie's narrative up to this point. The top performance of the night was easily the Pussycat's cover of "I Feel Love" though.

-Veronica has been presented as worldly and wise beyond her years for the most part so far on Riverdale, but tonight we get to see her act mostly as a hurt, 16-Year-Old and it's refreshing. Veronica knows that her dad did bad things and probably isn't the best person, but there's a part of her that's still loyal to her dad and the life she had with both her parents before this all happened. So when she sees Hermione and Fred kissing, of course she's going to feel threatened about the situation. It doesn't help that Hermione has a tendency to keep acting shady, first continuing to not tell Fred about who owns the land he's bidding on, then trying to get Veronica to sign off on awarding him the bid while still keeping this all quiet, and then forging Veronica's signature anyways. Veronica has every right to be hurt and angry at her mother, even as she tries to take Josie's advice and see her mom's side of the situation. This growing rift between the two is also very effective because we've been given time to see their relationship and bond so we care now that it's threatened.

-So Veronica is a legal officer of Lodge Industries? That's definitely not going to come into play down the road.

-Meanwhile Betty and Jughead finally figure out where Polly is and go to see her only to discover... she's pregnant with Jason's baby! This is a terrific twist because it's really obvious in retrospect, but I was still blown away when they revealed her expecting belly. Suddenly the reason she was sent away makes a whole lot more sense and Alice and Hal become that much more despicable.

-Polly is played by Tiera Skovbye, who besides looking very much like Lili Reinhart's sister, does a really good job at portraying Polly as someone who doesn't seem like a nutjob, but is just ever so slightly off that you find yourself doubting her story just a bit. There's also strong chemistry between her and Reinhart, so you understand why Betty is so determined to get to the bottom of what happened to her sister. And with Polly escaping through the window of the asylum at the end of the episode, the landscape of Riverdale has just gotten an enticing new wildcard thrown into the mix, which should spice things up as we start moving into the second half of the season.

-Riverdale is on a role, when it comes to introducing interesting new locations. Last week, we got Thornhill Manor, this week we get the Our Sisters of Silent Mercy Home For Troubled Youth, the asylum (With the stern-faced nuns and the men in white coats, it's definitely an asylum) that Hal and Alice had Polly sent to. With the muted colours, and creepy lighting, it sets the imagination ablaze as much as Thornhill does and offers another possible reason for Polly seeming unstable. Who wouldn't go crazy in a place like this?

-So Jughead kissed Betty. That's new. The comics version of Jughead of course historically has shown no interest in either sex, and the recent reboot of the character has him as asexual. And while it's disappointing that Riverdale isn't going down that road with the character (at least for now), I have no problems with the kiss itself, which jives with this version of Jughead and the bond they've established between him and Betty. Of course we have no idea how Betty feels about the kiss because she immediately gets distracted by plot stuff, so the whole thing feels more out-of-the-blue and random, but I am interested to see how they explore this possible love connection down the road.

-The number one rule for being in a TV mystery show? If you stumble upon a key piece of evidence, like say a car that has the victim's belongings in it and corroborates someone's story, the moment you leave it alone, it's going to be destroyed or compromised. Seriously why did Betty and Jughead leave the scene instead of getting the sheriff to come to them? Yes, they needed to show him the pictures, but they also apparently texted him to meet them at the school. If they can text the sheriff, why not text him the pictures with your location and guard the car?! Because people in TV mystery shows never think when it's be crucial.

-This Week in "Conspicuous Covergirl Product Placement": A distracting close-up on Josie's bottle of eyeshadow during her reconciliation scene with Val.

-The Best of Dumb Archie: Archie said and did a lot of dumb things in this episode but the best one is probably how surprised he is to learn that "Josie" is short for "Josephine". Really Archie?

-The dinner scene with Archie, Fred, Hermione, and the McCoy's was deliciously awkward, but the breakfast scene between Betty, Alice, and Jughead takes the cake as far as uncomfortable dinners go. Alice's obvious disdain for Jughead is incredible.

-So now that Josie and Val are actual characters, can we get some development for Mel now please? Or is she doomed to just be behind those drums forever?

-Why are Reggie and the other football players just hanging out at the variety show auditions randomly heckling people? Do they have nothing better to do with their time? Why were they even allowed in at all? Shouldn't they be closed auditions?

-So is Veronica just going to be in Josie and the Pussycats now? Is that a thing? Is that how we get more screentime for Josie and Mel (Val has Archie for now so she's good for being assured screentime.)? I'm fine with that.

-Also can we talk about how easily Veronica managed to join the band in the first place? She basically barged in, announced that she could sing and had aggression that needed releasing and suddenly she's slow-walking down the hallway in cat ears. Was there an audition at least that we didn't see? A spirited debate between Josie and Mel? Had Tina, the other established teenage Woman of Colour character burst in first with the same argument, would she have joined the Pussycats instead? OK, the answer to the last question is no, because Tina's still a background character with no personality and Veronica's a lead, but still.

-Murder Theory Corner: So now that Betty has confronted her dad about maybe being the killer, it's clear that he isn't the killer. The Polly angle to the case is really heating up which means it's about time to unveil a different motivation for the murder of Jason Blossom. My faith in it being Mayor McCoy is shaken a bit by there still being no real connection between the McCoy's and the Blossom's. Cheryl wasn't even in this episode to hang with her apparent good friend Josie. Meanwhile, I'm going to go out on a limb and predict the destruction of Jason's getaway car was mainly about those drugs stashed away in there. Drugs mean Southside Serpents. Southside Serpents means maybe Papa Jones is involved in this?

-Bonus Theory Corner: If Jason and Polly were running away together, why did Jason go the extra step of faking his death? It could be because he knew his parents were crazy and would come after him with a vengeance but my hunch is that he wasn't as in love with Polly as Polly thought and he had no intention of running away with her to start a family. So he told Alice and Hal about the July 4th plan so they'd intervene and then faked drowning in the river as a fail-safe in case Polly escaped. Then he tried to leave on his own. Maybe I'm off but I think there's more to Polly's story than she's telling and this is the most logical fit.

Riverdale: Chapter Five: Heart of Darkness

-So let's talk about Archie. Specifically let's talk about why the supposed main character of Riverdale and his ongoing storylines are so damn boring (Grundy thing aside, which is problematic in ways I've already gone on about at length), despite the solid performance of K.J. Apa. This is partly because Archie in the comics is mostly an audience-identification figure with a pretty vanilla personality that's difficult to make exciting, but a lot of it comes down to the context his storylines are in. Riverdale's Archie is probably the most down-to-earth character on the show and for the most part he has down-to-earth problems. He wants to connect with his dad and he wants to get into music and become a musician while still playing football and he wants to get over his heartbreak and have a good relationship. Now there's nothing wrong with any of this and all of these can make for some compelling teen drama. The issue is Riverdale is not a teen drama, it's a Teen Soap/Gothic Noir genre show and Archie's plots about typical teenager life feel mundane and insignificant on a show where essentially every other character is either investigating a murder, dealing with family secrets, dealing with biker gangs, or dealing with a century-spanning blood feud over a Maple Syrup business. Now on a show as heightened and fantastical as Riverdale, the Archie stories are theoretically there to ground the show in reality a bit, which is fine and necessary but since Archie is no longer tied to the central murder mystery in any meaningful way, his struggles aren't tied to any of the elements they're supposed to be grounding. They exist in a vacuum and so they flounder because they seem irrelevant compared to all the insanity happening elsewhere, which is doing a pretty good job of being emotionally grounded on it's own, despite how larger-than life it all is.

-Take last night's episode for example. Archie spends the episode trying to refocus his efforts post-Grundy on Football, but is unable to stop himself from chasing his musical ambitions, even when a potential mentor has a much harsher (And let's be honest, accurate) opinion of his work than the mentor he was sleeping with did. Meanwhile Betty continues looking into Jason's murder and how it's connected to him and Polly uncovering a blood feud between the Coopers and the Blossoms, Veronica and Cheryl have the world's most awkward sleepover and the Blossoms throw a memorial for Jason where they invite everyone they think could be a suspect. Oh, and the majority of most these other stories take place at Thornhill, the Blossom's creepy hillside mansion that looks like something straight out of Wuthering Heights. Archie's story has it's moments and does a great deal to develop Valerie and Reggie as characters but it just feels lesser than everything else that's going on and disconnected even when Archie is at Thornhill giving Penelope Blossom Jason's uniform and getting his face creepily felt up.

-The best part of Archie's storyline was definitely Val, who got the chance to show more character and personality than any of the Pussycats have in the past five episodes, and was instrumental in getting Archie to stop blindly trusting in other people's opinions of if he's good at music. The episode definitely seems to be setting up a possible romantic connection between her and Archie and I wouldn't mind if Riverdale took an episode or two to explore that before getting to the inevitable love triangle that they're thankfully still putting off.

-So Archie plays football pretty terribly for much of the episode and almost breaks his hand because he didn't study the play he was supposed to know but he gets offered the captain job because he decided to retire Jason's jersey and give it to the Blossom family without consulting anyone first? Why?! Yeah, yeah, it shows leadership potential or whatever but Reggie showed much better leadership potential when he encouraged Archie not to keep practicing with an injured hand (Advice Archie ignored because Archie's kind of dumb.) and much better skills on the field. Also why didn't the coach just retire that jersey in the first place instead of offering it up to whoever the new captain was? At least Archie had the sense not to take the captain job.

-Luckily the Archie stuff wasn't as all consuming as the Grundy storyline last week (Which Riverdale seems eager to just brush past), instead serving as the bland side dish to the episode's main course, our first in-depth examination into the Blossom family.

-From the beginning Cheryl Blossom has always been a larger-than-life character, getting the most ridiculous dialogue and never missing the chance to stir up trouble. Madelaine Petsch does terrific work taking Cheryl as close as possible to the realm of cartoon caricature but always managing to make her feel human. Heart of Darkness finally gives us a significant look into Cheryl's homelife and suddenly her whole character makes a whole lot more sense and feels that much more real and tragic. Jughead's narration sets the tone. She's the Gothic heroine who lives in the creepy house with the private graveyard surrounded by (figurative) ghosts and secrets. Her parents are emotionally withholding monsters all about keeping up appearances, maintaining feuds with their various enemies (There's an intriguing mention of the founding families of Riverdale that I want to see explored further), and going on and on about the maple syrup industry Riverdale is built on. No one wanted to be around her so she bullied and forced her way to the top of the social order through sheer will. She had an unhealthy attachment to her brother but that was only because he was the only one who ever protected her. No wonder she's become such a force of nature. Petsch gives her finest performance to date at Jason's memorial, as Cheryl gives the eulogy she was told not to give in the dress she was wearing the day Jason vanished. It's our biggest glimpse yet at how much of a broken human being Cheryl is and it's very effective at grounding the insanity of the Blossom family.

-Having spent the first few episodes building the bond between Betty and Veronica, Heart of Darkness sets to setting up a friendship or at least a frenemy bond between Veronica and Cheryl. Veronica and Cheryl don't get along by any means but Veronica was there for Cheryl when she had her pep rally breakdown and Cheryl remembers that, which is why she invites Veronica for a sleepover the night before the memorial. She isn't used to that kind of support and Veronica comes through again, encouraging her to give the eulogy she wants to give no matter the consequences (Cheryl is convinced her parents would kill her, which is very telling). It's nice to see Riverdale committed to fleshing out the complicated dynamics between it's female characters instead of just having them all be best friends or at each other's throats consistently.

-No Alice this week, but that's probably for the best, seeing that Penelope and Cliff Blossom are even more over-the-top than she is. Alice has basically been a crazy cartoon villain so far but the Blossoms make her seem like a well-adjusted average mom by comparison.

-Excellent production design on the Thornhill estate. It feels creepy and otherworldly and I hope we get to spend a lot more time there in the future.

-Hal Cooper has been on my radar for a couple weeks now, seeming much quieter, more passive, and more reasonable than his wife which is immediately suspicious. My suspicions got raised even higher when Betty, after learning that Jason started selling possessions and dealing drugs shortly after dating Polly asks him about what happened to her and he explains that he walked in on her trying to kill herself after a bad fight with Jason. It's the perfect motivation for murder and my suspicions became even more entrenched when Betty sees him tearfully watching old movies of Polly. The twist though is that Hal is lying to some extent (Maybe Polly did try to kill herself. We don't know). Polly and Jason were engaged to be married, despite a bitter feud between their two families and it's strongly implied that that's why Polly was sent away. It's a brilliant twist because it comes out of nowhere, yet it completely lines up with the information we have or suspect we have. Hal is just as manipulative and dangerous as Alice is, he's just a lot sneakier about it so it's very effective to see him suddenly blow up like this. Of course now I'm much less convinced that he killed Jason but we'll get to that in Murder Theory Corner.

-Why do the Coopers and the Blossoms hate each other so much? Because Cheryl's great-grandfather killed Betty's great-grandfather over the profits of the maple syrup business they started together, starting a blood feud. A blood feud! It's ridiculous, over-the-top, and more than a little nonsensical but I love this bit of backstory so much. It's just so odd and inspired and it turns the story of Jason and Polly into a weird, modern Romeo and Juliet. If the idea behind Riverdale was that there was always a darkness to the town that Jason's death brought to the surface, this is the most effective expression yet of that idea. Also now I'm just desperate for an episode that does a deep dive into the dark history of the Maple Syrup industry in Riverdale.

-So now that Betty knows the truth about Polly (Or at least much of the truth about Polly), does this mean we get to actually meet Polly soon? I hope so.

-No sign of Jughead's dad this week but the Southside Serpents do send a snake to Pop's as a warning to Hermione, prompting her to go to Fred for help prompting Fred to finally hire her as the bookkeeper for his company. It's more interesting than the Archie stuff but less interesting than the Blossom/Cooper stuff. Luke Perry and Marisol Nichols have solid chemistry though and this could be a good chance for them to get some much needed character development outside of their relationships to their children.

-This Week in Hot Archie: Shirtless Archie works up a sweat hitting the punching bag because he needs to stay in shape.

-This Week in Ridiculous Cheryl Blossom Dialogue That Madelaine Petsch Inexplicably Pulls Off: "To my surprise and chagrin, Mother added you to the guest list. In case you're thinking of stealing candlesticks: don't. We'll be searching bags". It's all in her inflections.

-The Maple Syrup Industry being so huge explains why the river is called Sweetwater and why the local sex act is called the Sticky Maple. That's something.

-The best moment in the Archie story is when Archie's dad walks in on him and Val and is both really awkward about it, while clearly really happy that Archie is with someone his own age. Archie's gruff potential mentor who wanted him to do things like write actual sheet music for his songs was also entertaining.

-Murder Theory Corner: So now that the characters are suspicious of Hal and we have confirmation that he's shady, I don't suspect him as much because I know how TV works. The Cooper-Blossom Maple Syrup Blood Feud is an incredible bit of backstory that's both operatic and ridiculous but it also feels like a huge red herring. Why'd Hal steal the original murder wall? My bet is he suspects Polly killed Jason and he's trying to protect her. So my suspicions have moved back to someone in Josie's orbit (Likely her mom but any of the Pussycats could also work). That being said though, with the episode working to establish a connection between the Lodge family and the Blossom family, maybe Hiram did it? He's got to show up by the end of the season and this would definitely leave an impression.

-Seriously guys, I can not overstate how excited I am about this blood feud thing.